Blog post reflecting on conforming to a language we may not have agreed to…
Instead of “taking a stab at” things, can we “bring them to life”?
Have you ever noticed how many military phrases we use in our daily lives? Especially in English, I tend to gravitate towards militarized language to get a point across because it’s so deeply embedded in the corporate world nowadays. Eventually, it also makes its way into our day-to-day lingo with friends and families.
Conforming in the workplace
We recently held a Stories Across Border’s session on Conforming: What boxes do we live in? And mid-session we realized that we all conform to this one box we never explicitly agreed to: using language rooted in combat, control, and conquest in our everyday communication.
This becomes even more obvious in the context of work. It seems almost impossible to hold a meeting without using some violently aggressive language that I barely even notice the true significance of in the moment. When I pause to think of the terms or phrases in a literal sense, I am stunned at how oppressive, commanding, and bloody, some of these phrases are. It’s not an image I would like to plant in anyone’s minds.
Maybe in reading this, your mind has already conjured up a few phrases, but if not, here are some of the most common examples I hear daily. And I don’t think it’s just me.
Have you ever heard a manager say “let’s divide and conquer” in order to fairly distribute a work load? Or how about “pick your battles” to a teammate who is struggling with a difficult situation and unsure whether or not it’s a good idea to bring it up? Or perhaps you’ve heard yourself say “let me take a stab at it” while trying to genuinely offer your help.
It’s even odder to realize that positive messages can incorporate violent language too. You may find a lecturer saying “fire away” before opening up the floor for questions, as if we’re about to fire canons onto the speaker’s stage. Or you may hear from a team member to “give it your best shot” as an encouraging line to try something difficult. Worse yet, you might hear colleagues refer to their “secret weapon” when preparing for a pitch!
We have a problem …
No wonder so many of us sign-off work for the day and feel absolutely drained, like we’ve been combating enemies in a complex military operation all day!
We know that language has an impact on our minds and attitudes… so maybe all these violent expressions actually add to the wave of stress, burnout and anxiety that is so prevalent in workplaces today?
I believe our choice of language influences how we feel about the work that we do. It’s a cycle that feeds into itself. So can’t we draw inspiration from another area of life that isn’t based on battles, war, conquering, or winning? What if we were to use language inspired by growth, ecosystems and nature instead?
🍃 Let’s cross-pollinate ideas between X and Y team.
→ I love this one for collaboration!
🌊 Being in the flow of work, or finding one’s flow.
→ For discovering a comfortable rhythm that works for you (or the team).
🥭 Allow things to come to fruition.
→ Give things time to grow and evolve.
Time is the silent ingredient in alchemy that is not always stated, but always needed.
🌰 Let’s lay down the groundwork.
→ Before starting a new project.
🌲 Get to the root of the problem.
→ In order to understand the underlying cause(s).
🍂 What can we prune back?
→ For letting ideas go. So much better than “shooting down an idea”.
🌀 Follow the current.
→ To pay attention to where interest or energy are naturally flowing.
🌳 It’s time to branch out.
→ For expanding, or for changing directions.
🍓 Low hanging fruit.
→ As something that is easy to achieve, as opposed to an “easy target”.
⛈️ Weathering a storm.
→ To depict going through a difficult time. Notice how different you feel when you hear “weathering a storm” vs “under fire” even though they essentially mean the same thing.
🏕️ Let’s find our footing.
→ As opposed to “hit the ground running”.
🌱 Bring them to life.
→ To turn things into a tangible reality. This is a personal favorite!
Changing direction
In Stories Across Borders, we always state that one of our intentions is to plant seeds rather than specifically look for solutions. Just those words “planting seeds” bring up a peaceful image of tending to the Earth in order to nurture a seedling into growth.
So let me share some phrases I’m planning to adopt into my vocabulary while I try to de-conform from the unnecessary use of violent, military language that I never consciously subscribed to in the first place.
These may not replace all the workplace jargon we borrow heavily from the battlefield, but perhaps instead of “fighting for change” we can cultivate it, one word at a time.
I hope this has served as some food for thought. I invite you to share some of your favorite nurturing phrases you use (or would like to use) that draw inspiration from more the natural world. I’m all ears!
– Beatriz
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